Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The 12 days of Detox - Day 12, The last day.

Well, today is my last day. I end it with mixed emotions.  I know the eating really well and detoxing my system has brought weight loss and energy. I can see it in my face and my sack of feelings hangs less down onto my legs.  I kicked the coffee habit and learned I love fish and spinach.  So that would be the good.  I am afraid to eat anything that I haven't eaten in the last 12 days in fear of how my system will react. I am also afraid that I will blow all this progress and revert back.  Essentially, the freedom scares me. That would be the bad. So for tomorrow, I am packing the usuals:

oatmeal with berries,
left over fish with rice and spinach
rice cakes and avocado
apple

I bought a roast to slow cook all day. So, tomorrow night I will attempt a gravy. I just might skip it for me. I am already using whole wheat flour for cooking, but its probably better to just skip it.

Friday we are having quesadillas, so there will be cheese and tortillas involved.   I guess I will just make sure I have whole wheat tortillas and low fat cheese for mine.

I am really feeling great, like I have finally reached that turning point all us fat girls wish we could find.  I am hungry right now, but I am having a cold glass of water and then headed to bed.  The freedom I will have starting tomorrow will be awesome and scary.  I just need to keep planning and packing ahead.  If I have food with me, that I have put thought into, then I will have no need for convenience food.

I am afraid of chocolate. Although, I am not very big on sweets. I have been missing it. The only sugar I have had is what is found naturally in berries and apples.  So, now I crave. But do I want to blow all my progress for some sweets? Nope. I think I might buy those "singles" and enjoy one of them that way and just get it over with.  Or not at all. I don't know!! I will hold out as long as I can hoping the craving disappears completely.

I've been thinking about coffee and its comfort.  I miss that sip from my Timmies XLDBLDBL.  It always felt like "home".  But I am trying really hard not to go there. I know for sure I won't tomorrow. Again, I will hold out as long as I can hoping the cravings disappear.

I guess I just really need to take it one day at a time.  Tomorrow I do a weigh in, its my second last one for our Biggest Loser competition.  We shall see how it goes.

Well, this is my last blog about my health for awhile.  I hope that when I am weak, I can recall how I didn't waiver once in 12 days. How I stayed strong an how proud I am of me right now.

I never want to forget these 12 days.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The 12 days of Detox - Day 11

I am in the final stretch now. Tomorrow is the last day.

I have to say today was uneventful.  I barely had an appetite. My portions have gone down dramatically. Which of course makes me very happy!  Today I was off and I really thought about brewing some coffee since I am allowed up to two cups of black coffee. Instead, I made some green tea and was very happy with that.   No headaches anymore.

Andrew made spaghetti tonight and I so drooled over it.  So of course the thoughts of "when I am done.." crept in my mind. I am scared and nervous I will blow all my progress.  This is something I will just have to deal with I guess.

At this time, I am feeling great and very happy I chose to take 12 days and just eat amazingly good food.

Monday, January 24, 2011

The 12 days of Detox - Day 10

WOW! HI! OMG!!! HI!! ISNT IT A GREAT DAY? SERIOUSLY! IT IS! WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY?I WORKED AND ITS MY FRIDAY!!!!

Do you read the excitement in the above yelling? I am hyper today!! Seriously, I got the energy I was waiting for!!  I feel freaking fantastic.  Seriously. No headache today.   Still lots of pooping. Still seeing what I believe to be complete spinach leaves floating.   At this point, my cleanse is easy and simple, and I am enjoying the experience.  So, I don't have much more to say about that. I feel good, its easy, and I am almost done.  Our Biggest Loser Competition ends on Jan 31st and I am hoping to win!!!

My daughter Hilary wants a shout out.

Hey Hilary.

So anways, I leave..wait, she wants me to post her blog. FINE. here http://hilarymaccallum.tumblr.com/  its weird.

So anyways, like I was sayin,  I leave in 11 days for South Beach. I am feeling the strain of my to do...wait..I gotta go potty.

bye.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

The 12 days of Detox - Day 9

Not much change really from Day 8.  No coffee still. I miss it, but I feel like I am over it.  Which is good right? I mean I don't depend on it like a lot of others. If I didn't get it, I would be floopy.  My words wouldn't make sense, people talking loudly hurt, I struggled to speak, and I would be drowsy.  I have to say, kicking the coffee habit is the best decision I have made about my health, since I quit smoking 12 yrs ago.  Its not easy, and it was scary going into this detox for many reasons, coffee being one of them. Although, I am allowed the 2 cups of black coffee, it wasn't the same. Do I need coffee? No, but yes, because I created that situation to NEED it.  The first 4 days were rough! Such headaches. I still get them, not as bad and not as often.  My body is learning to live without it.

I have talked to a few people about my detox.  Most people say "I can't go without (insert desires)".  I mean its 12 days. Its really just about your desire to do the things you do. You either have to say, I can or can't. If you can't, live with the consequences.  Its easy for me to say all this now, because I have chosen to be this way. When this cleanse is over, will I return to the old me? The "its ok to eat chips" or "bigger portion cos im starving" (caused by not eating properly all day) or the "I will do better tomorrow", that's the old me. I could justify anything. Now? I just want to not shit all day cos I ate something bad. I hope to return to this blog entry to remind myself how I feel in this moment. Liberated. I seriously feel liberated. I don't know how or why really. But I do, and I am afraid I will revert back to the old me, when I want the new me.

I wasn't a pig before with bad foods. When looking at what I could eat on this list, I was excited!! Its food I love, chicken, beef, rice, potatoes, veggies.  Stuff I already ate. With the absence of dairy (oh gawd, I miss cheese), yeast, flours, sugars, tropical fruits.  I thought I ate fairly healthy. I have always loved breakfast, lunch and dinner. I always ate my 3 meals.  This cleanse tho, cut out all the crap. I am still eating great food and plenty of it, minus the crap.  I didn't realize the emotional and psychological impact that would have on me.  On the upside, I have found I love fish and spinach. They will stay with me wherever I go from this cleanse.

That being said. I pooped so much today. Insane. I swear to God, there was a spinach leaf floating at one point. I had that inner monologue with myself

"What is that? Is that from my kidney or something?"
staring.
"Wait, that's a spinach leaf?"
staring.
"Don't I chew my spinach?"
flushing.
"Or is it magical, like corn, chewed but then becomes whole in my belly"
washing hands.
"Wow".

mental note: chew spinach more thoroughly.

Today for breakfast, I had natural oats with blueberries and strawberries mixed in.
For lunch, I had a chicken breast, a small baked potato with butter/salt and spinach.
I just finished a delish dinner. Broiled halibut laid on a bed of rice with asparagus on the side.  Does that sound difficult? Such a sacrifice? How can I do this? Right. Stop kidding yourself, you deserve to take a chance and see what happens. Maybe you will suffer with no reward, or maybe, just maybe, you will surprise yourself and be proud.

PEACE! (and popcorn)

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The 12 days of Detox - Day 8

Its been really hard to not snack like Andrew and Hilary do. I bought them chips, and I did so thinking "no worries".  Well that was crap. I want ketchup chips. I want them really bad.  I was so tempted to give a chip a try, but after the tomato sauce, I said forget it.

Also, I bought the kids some KD. They make it whenever they don't like my healthy dinner. I WANT KD.

So Day 8 is brought to you by the letter W for WANT.

The day was fine tho really.  No headache, this is day 5 with no coffee. I am pretty impressed. I am drinking Green Tea quite a bit and at first I thought it tasted like grass that was used to wipe an ass.  Now, I quite like it! So what I'm saying is I like ass? No, but I like Green Tea :)

I seem to be pooping a lot over the last two days. Nothing solid either, and in the evenings, I am so sleepy, but during the day I have been ok.

We went out for Quinn's 11th birthday today. He wanted to go to Montana's.  I wasn't overly concerned because I knew I could have a rotisserie chicken breast with baked potato.  I ordered and after 15/20 mins our server comes out apologizing that they have no white meat left and it will be another 20 mins till the next chicken is ready.  I decided to go with the potato and some mixed veggies and if the chicken was ready before Andrew and Quinn were done eating, then I would take it.  She brought me my potato and veggies. The potato was over cooked but still, it was food.  I am almost done that and the manager comes out and apologizes for the situation and delay, offers to bring me a piece to take home when we leave.  I told him it was ok, I wasn't starving.  He kept apologizing and offered me my potato and veggies for free and since it was Quinn's birthday a free dessert.   They were so great at Montana's.  Sure, they didn't have enough chicken, but it was the way they handled it. Great staff at their WestHills Location.

Now, I am hungry. So I am boiling an egg, and I haven't decided what I will have with it.

Tomorrow is DAY 9!!!  That excites me and makes me nervous as to what I will do after the cleanse.  I want to stay on track, or will I binge? I must stay strong. I am afraid of diarrhea that will occur after I finally do ingest yeast or dairy.

Friday, January 21, 2011

The 12 days of Detox - Day 7

Day 7 was a bit different for me. First of all, I wasn't starving all the time like I have been.  I still have quite the healthy appetite but I don't need to eat every hour.

I made the mistake of buying a can of tomato sauce instead of making my own for my cabbage rolls yesterday.  I was pressed for time, and made the decision to buy my sauce. I spent quite some time in the aisle reading labels. The Safeway No Salt Added Tomato Sauce from their Eating Right line was the best option.  It was yummy and fairly pure.  So how do I know it was a bad choice? I pooped a lot today and it was RED! So I guess the old saying goes "Eat crap and crap crap".  Wow. All day, several times.

I seemed to have no headache until late in the day.  Its day 4 with no coffee for me. I might even give it up entirely.  Not sure yet.

I got some energy bursts today. In fact, I got quite hyper. It was short lived but fun!!

Tomorrow is Day 8 and it will have its own challenges, and I am ready for them.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The 12 days of Detox - Day 5 & 6

Day 5 was a lot like Day 4.  Not much new to report really.  I tried a steak and got diarrhea from it. I think it was the steak, or maybe the 6 strawberries I ate. Not sure really.  But I paid dearly for it. I believe it was the steak tho.  I was sluggish and a bit cranky.  But nothing that spinach couldn't fix. I didn't have coffee again today.   So that is two days in a row.

Today is Day 6.  My friends have reported bursts of energy and less hunger. I am not there yet. I am so sluggish and tired.  Why aren't I full and energized like them?? I am hoping to see some changes over the next couple of days.

I got on a scale and I was down 6lbs from my last weigh in during the first week of January.  Since November 1st, I have yoyo'd but to date I am down 13lbs during our Biggest Loser Competition. I still have 6 days left on this cleanse and I hope to feel better than when I started.

I am enjoying the food. I tried to make cabbage rolls.  It did not work out.  I have since youtubed on how to make them and will reattempt next week.

So far the cleanse has been really easy, famous last words?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The 12 days of Detox - Day 4

I am blogging about yesterday's detox day, because I forgot to last night.

Here we are Day 4. I thought I would be shitting my pants by now and craving sugar.  Neither of those have occurred.  Yesterday was challenging in its own way.

I spent the day at the mall with Michelle shopping for a bathing suit. I thought at best, we would be there 2 hrs. I figured I was ok. But we left late and I didn't eat before we left.  Got to the food court. I tried my damndest to find a grilled chicken breast and a baked potato.  I went to Arbys for my baked potato and water bottle. $5 for that. Then I went to A & W to get a grilled chicken breast. I asked for no bun. I got bun. Cost me $5 for that. It was the tiniest PIECE of chicken breast, not an actual breast. I was so hungry and half done when I realized how small it was. My lunch cost me $10 and I was still starving.  I found Kernels. Popcorn is allowed, but I am certain not even their original lightly buttered and salted would be accepted. Still, I needed food. I got a small and finished half of it in record time.

We were at the mall almost 5 hrs. I was beyond starving.  We had more plans after the mall but I put an end to that cos I needed to eat!!!

I came home with another pkg of spinach and cod. Mmmm..with some avocado.  I didn't have a coffee yesterday and I had a bit of a headache. Less of a headache than all other days before.

Day 4 was good. I thought I would struggle and be unwell until Day 6, but day 4 was good. My body was a bit sore last night, but I think that was more because of the 5 hr walking around the mall!

Onto Day 5 now, so far so good.   I haven't gotten on a scale yet.  That will be tomorrow.

Monday, January 17, 2011

The 12 days of Detox - Day 3

So, finishing up day 3 on my detox.  Today went ok. A minor headache, but I did forget to make coffee this morning! I was so focused on what was in my lunch kit that I forgot! FORGOT COFFEE!!! Insane right? I was so worried that I would starve all day because so far on this cleanse I am so hungry.  It was a valid fear. I ran out of food and was starved! I bummed an apple and some peas from Rita today!

I have finished off a very large container of spinach already.  I love it. I think its my crack.  Its a great snack, cook it up in some olive oil drizzle with the slightest dash of salt. YUMMMMMM!  Must get more of that!

I also bought some rice milk as allowed to put over my oatmeal. It is also very yummy. Its watery but so light and the aftertaste is delish.  I might keep buying that too!

I had to pee a lot because of the volume of water I am drinking. I didn't poo any more or less than normal. Rita told me my poop would darken and smell stronger. But so far, just the smell.  Either way, ew right?

I am off for the next two days.  I am certain I will be ok!  I won't plan so far in advance tomorrow, but I have everything I need to be successful.  I am going shopping with Michelle tomorrow, so I am concerned about being hungry away from home.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

The 12 days of Detox - Day 2

Day 2 is coming to a close.  Today was harder than yesterday but in a different way.

Day 1 went like this: wasn't really prepared, but had enough in the house to make it thru the day with the proper foods. I had fish, brown rice, beans, eggs and turkey bacon.  But, I also had Quinn's party, which meant cake.  I avoided that cake!! I got everyone a piece, making sure adults got big pieces, then I left the room.  Made sure it was all gone before I returned back to the room.  My family and friend supported me during that time and ensured it was all gone!!  I did have some diarrhea yesterday.  Didn't think I would be able to play laser tag, but it subsided just in time!  I was starving all day. I could never get enough to eat!  But all in all, it was a good day.

Today however, has been a challenge.  I am pooping more than normal, but its not diarrhea anymore.  So far, that is not as bad as I feared.  I have eaten great today.  Eggs, turkey bacon, sushi, chicken, potato and fish and spinach. I am starving!!! I will be hungry again in 2 hrs. The worst part is the headache. I have such a bad headache.  Eating, drinking lots of water and green tea helps keep it at a minimum, but if I relax on those, it gets intense.

Tonight I prepare for tomorrow.  My menu for tomorrow is:

Breakfast: oats with blueberries
Lunch: salad with lettue, tomato, hard boiled egg, red onion and avacado
Snack: cut up apples with cinnamon and walnuts
Dinner: grilled chicken, sweet potato, spinach
Snack: popcorn

I am loving that I have so many food options available. My goal at day 2 is to keep up the same food plan on a go forward basis.  Hoping tomorrow for no headache.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The 12 days of Detox - Day 1

I was nervous this morning because I knew I would be doing the Wild Rose Detox today. I am fortunate, I am doing this along with two other girls. One who started on Wed and the other on Thurs.  So, when I had questions about starting, they knew the answers.

So, I take some herbal pills and drops with breakfast and dinner. I have a list of foods I can choose from.  Its a long and good list.  Food, that I love to eat already.  I had my coffee black this morning as I am to have no sugar or dairy.  Did not enjoy a black coffee, but I need the caffeine.   The drops I mixed in with my water, but struggled to drink it, not that the flavour was so strong, just hard to drink cold water with my food. I can drink 22 oz of water before breakfast, but not WITH. Weird hey?  I had hard boiled eggs and turkey bacon for breakfast.

I need to plan ahead, and so far I am sucking at that.  I have no clue what I am having for lunch or dinner.  I can have fish and chicken, veggies and sweet potato.  So, I will wing it today and plan tomorrow for the rest of the week.

I am afraid of the pooping. Some people poop a lot and others not so much.  So, if I have to guess, I am the pooper.

I will blog tomorrow how today went.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Happy New Year to you too!

Let me start this blog off with a few things.


Jason was, perhaps more than once, given a marriage proposal. That is all I have to say about that.


Its a new year! I gained 10lbs and hurt my back. I am ok, still fat, but ok.  I am still trying to lose weight. I am working on my portion control again and drinking my water and taking my vitamins.  I slacked during the holidays and I certainly paid for it. I am not giving up tho!!!  My Biggest Loser comp ends on Feb 1.  I am not sure how the others are doing but I think my organizer Jesse might take it!!! She has really stepped up to this new lifestyle and has enrolled in WW online and I am sure that helps a lot.  But more so, she is helping herself.


I have no resolutions. I don't like setting myself up for failure. I express my wishes but again, those are very generic and I don't feel like they have to be accomplished in 2011.  For example, I would like me to grow up and step up at work to allow myself promotion.  


I got an Ereader for Christmas from Andrew. I love it.  I got the Kobo from Indigo. Would it be wrong of me to find a way to download books without paying for them? Probs right? Right.  I love it so much. It came with 100 classic novels, which I have always wanted to read but was never going to. I am trying to read Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte currently, but I am not overly enjoying it.  However, I want to at least give it a try. Up next, Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice.  


I am on season 4 of Dawson's Creek. I love that show more than you. I thought you should know that.  Pacey Witter, I <3 you so very much. I love him and Joey Potter together.






My cruise with BNL and GBS is coming up very quickly and I am very excited to see all my cruise friends PLUS my besties Michelle and Stacy are coming as well.  Now, I have failed to find childcare for my kids that week knowing I had the fall back of them going to my moms house.  But would love them to be taken care of here.  Still working on that.  But, yeah, I am very excited.  Cannot wait!


I am HIGHLY ADDICTED to not only Dawson's Creek, but ZUMA on FB. Its killing me. I can't wait to regen to play again once I am out of hearts  This weeks puzzle  is so hard and I cannot for the life of me place in the top 3, which has never really been a prob.  Andrew is beating me and that angers me. I need to at least beat him!!! 


So it was a very Twilighty Christmas for me and I wouldn't have it any other way!! I got a Twilight game, two puzzles, an ornament, a key chain from Monica (I'm counting that as Christmas), and I downloaded the Twilight Saga onto my eReader so I can have them with me everywhere I go!!!


Well, I need to drink some water and chillax for the night.


Love you peeps.