Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Feeling Disconnected

Lately, it feels like all I do is work, eat and sleep.  All my social interactions are at work, which thankfully, I work with some amazing friends so that is not a downside or negative at all.  I have taken on a new role at work and its not easy and its actually quite exhausting. I find myself withdrawing from people.  It is not my friends fault that I am withdrawing, it is me.

Then there are my cruise friends, who I hold near and dear to my heart, knowing that there won't be another cruise with BNL, or those who wouldn't come back if there was, I seem to be disconnected from.  Again, it is not them, its me.  I don't know why. I just don't feel involved as I have been focusing on other stuff and since I don't see them day to day  like other friends, I don't give them any of my time.  Some days, I don't even open my laptop, and when your friends live in the internet its like I am making the choice to not talk to them.

There are so many people that are important to me, that I need in my life but lately, I just haven't been available. So, I am sorry to them.  Even if I don't talk to you, know that you are there with me, and I hope you haven't given up on me!

I feel like I can't control myself.  I am either all in and totally committed and then I am out. Just a few blogs ago I was going on about my obsession with Twilight.  Since that post, I have completely withdrawn.  I haven't been partaking in an online community that consumed me. Now I never post in there. I feel bad, because my friends began to depend on me. Sorry Debbie!  I am still counting down the days till Breaking Dawn Pt 1...100 days btw :)  It was hard because Rob was at Comic Con and then Teen Choice Awards and I haven't watched any of that stuff.  I know it will come back, it just hit such a strong point, that I had to halt it.

Currently, my obsession is Big Brother. I read the feeds all the time, follow them on Twitter.  Least that will end soon.

I am now thinking about how much I love cheese.  Not just to eat, but cheesy foods. I just ate a leftover chicken enchilada from dinner the other night for breakfast. The cheese was amazing.

Tonight I am having a bbq with my besties Michelle and Matt, looking forward to it too!  That is all for today. I need some more coffee.