Lately, it feels like all I do is work, eat and sleep. All my social interactions are at work, which thankfully, I work with some amazing friends so that is not a downside or negative at all. I have taken on a new role at work and its not easy and its actually quite exhausting. I find myself withdrawing from people. It is not my friends fault that I am withdrawing, it is me.
Then there are my cruise friends, who I hold near and dear to my heart, knowing that there won't be another cruise with BNL, or those who wouldn't come back if there was, I seem to be disconnected from. Again, it is not them, its me. I don't know why. I just don't feel involved as I have been focusing on other stuff and since I don't see them day to day like other friends, I don't give them any of my time. Some days, I don't even open my laptop, and when your friends live in the internet its like I am making the choice to not talk to them.
There are so many people that are important to me, that I need in my life but lately, I just haven't been available. So, I am sorry to them. Even if I don't talk to you, know that you are there with me, and I hope you haven't given up on me!
I feel like I can't control myself. I am either all in and totally committed and then I am out. Just a few blogs ago I was going on about my obsession with Twilight. Since that post, I have completely withdrawn. I haven't been partaking in an online community that consumed me. Now I never post in there. I feel bad, because my friends began to depend on me. Sorry Debbie! I am still counting down the days till Breaking Dawn Pt 1...100 days btw :) It was hard because Rob was at Comic Con and then Teen Choice Awards and I haven't watched any of that stuff. I know it will come back, it just hit such a strong point, that I had to halt it.
Currently, my obsession is Big Brother. I read the feeds all the time, follow them on Twitter. Least that will end soon.
I am now thinking about how much I love cheese. Not just to eat, but cheesy foods. I just ate a leftover chicken enchilada from dinner the other night for breakfast. The cheese was amazing.
Tonight I am having a bbq with my besties Michelle and Matt, looking forward to it too! That is all for today. I need some more coffee.
That's ok. I still <3 you!
ReplyDeleteWe know that you still love us. And we love you! We all go through phases. It's OK. Don't beat yourself up over it. There's nobody you're "supposed" to be. Do what feels right at the time. Don't let your impression of how the world "thinks" you should be affect you. We love you no matter what. <3
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