We can "remember" any day of the year

I remembered that I wanted to blog about something I saw on September 21st.  Michelle, Stacy, Sandra and I were had just arrived back to YYC after our Vegas trip, and two husbands showed up to pick us up and we were all chatting about our trip.  Behind us tho was a scene I will never forget.

We heard the gasps and the crying first, as we turned around we could see the most beautiful sight that can be seen. I've seen it on youtube and sobbed along countless times, but it was happening right here, in front of me... a soldier coming home and seeing his baby for the first time.

The tears flowed from his eyes as he grabbed his baby and hugged and kissed it (sorry, don't know if it was a boy or a girl), all while staring at his crying bride.  Mom was on hand crying and recording everything.  He held his baby and then his wife, all of them crying.  Then went over to his mom and hugged her while they sobbed.  I don't know where came from or for how long he was gone, but from what I could see far and for too long.

I turned back to our group and all of us were moved and tears were in our eyes and we felt as tho we had just been touched by a rare moment, one that can never leave our minds.

Now, lets flash forward to Nov 11, 2012.  Kids these days just don't even get why we remember. I will take on blame for that one. I haven't taken my kids to a memorial service for them to really see first hand what its about. But I also wonder, would they care? They watch "lame" videos at school about something that happened a long time ago. I try to explain that we must understand history in order not to repeat it, but it falls on deaf ears.  With so much time passed, the meaning is getting lost.  We took the time to explain to our teens what to remember means. How we must always be grateful that so many gave their lives so we could live in the wonderful, but cold, country we live in.  

So today, and for those who read this, know we can be thankful and remember everything that our soldiers in the past, present and future sacrifice for us today and everyday.

50 Shades of Cray Cray Panda.

I chose to show someone my blogging from my 12 days of detox and realized that I haven't been around in a while.  I know I don't have any random loyal readers, just my friends when they choose to read what I am thinking. Bad grammar and all. I don't think I need to apologize, but just in case this is for you, SORRY!

Guess I didn't need to blog, or maybe, I was afraid to blog. I have been going through a lot lately. I started seeing a therapist to help me feel better. I have always believed myself to be a strong woman, but yet I found myself sobbing uncontrollably and just wanting to curl up in my bed and fall asleep. Never was I suicidal, but I was so worried I had depression.  My therapist listened to me for a long time and determined I am just stressed out, and I am just not use to it.  Most of it is from raising a teenage daughter who is sexually active, loves pot and hates school.  Its been very hard to manage, and work was always my release, but work has been so stressful as of late.  Put it all together, I was a sad panda.  Then, I was angry panda. I found myself getting very angry. Then I was panic panda. Of course came overwhelmed panda.  Honestly, I was like 50 shades of cray cray panda

After sharing my story with my girlfriends, one of the girls, Channing, shared a link with me. This is what it says:

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Like PMS, premenstrual dysphoric disorder follows a predictable, cyclic pattern. Symptoms begin in the late luteal phase of the menstrual cycle (after ovulation) and end shortly after menstruation begins.^[6]

Emotional symptoms are generally present, and in PMDD, mood symptoms are dominant.^[6] Substantial disruption to personal relationships is typical for women with PMDD.^[6]Anxiety, anger, and depression may also occur. The main symptoms, which can be disabling, include^[7]

• feelings of deep sadness or despair
• feelings of intense tension or anxiety
• increased intense sensitivity to rejection or criticism
• panic attacks
• rapid and severe mood swings, bouts of uncontrollable crying
• lasting irritability or anger, increased interpersonal conflicts; typically sufferers are unaware of the impact they have on those close to them
• apathy or disinterest in daily activities and relationships
• difficulty concentrating
• chronic fatigue
• food cravings or binge eating
• insomnia or hypersomnia; sleeping more than usual, or (in a smaller group of sufferers) being unable to sleep
• feeling overwhelmed or feelings of being out of control
• increase or decrease in sex drive
• increased need for emotional closeness

Common physical symptoms include:

• breast tenderness or swelling, heart palpitations, headaches, joint or muscle pain, swollen face and nose
• an altered view of one's body - a sensation of 'bloating', feeling fat or actual weight gain.

Five or more of these symptoms may indicate PMDD.

Click here for more information on PMDD       

Blew my mind.


I don't know what I am doing with this information, I just feel less crazy.  I am trying to manage my daughter and my reactions to her behaviour, and find some long term solutions.  Then there is the PMDD stuff. Yikes. Being a woman is tough!  Least I understand what I am going through now.

I wish I had something funny to share to close this blog, but I am just left feeling OK about what I have written. 

and....

END SCENE

*yells* GET ME SOME CHOCOLATE ITS CRAY CRAY PANDA TIME!